How To Upset A Race Director

I know from experience that by far the greater majority of people who enter races do it without causing any problems whatsoever, but there is a minority who really do cause a Race Director to pull his hair out!

Here are a 6 ways that some people have honed to perfection!

1. DON’T COMPLETE YOUR ENTRY FORM.
   When filling in your entry form, write YES in the box asking for the runner’s sex, or leave the age box blank then moan about the fact you are not recorded as 3rd over 40 on the results sheet.
2. ENTER AS LATE AS POSSIBLE.
   Send in your entry form after the closing date together with a heart-rending story about how the dog had eaten the original entry form and had to be rushed to the vets.
3. SWAP YOUR NUMBER (BUT DON’T TELL ANYONE).
   Make sure no money is wasted. If you paid for a race entry but can’t run, give your number to someone else without telling the organisers. Then when the person running with your number collapses unconscious halfway through the race and is rushed to hospital, the police will turn up on your doorstep to break the bad news to your family. This is a guaranteed laughter maker at parties for years afterwards! Better still, if you’re a woman and can’t take part give your number to a very fit man. This is certain to delay the prize presentation whilst the organisers try to work out how an over 50 woman apparently finished in 69 minutes.
4. LOSE YOUR NUMBER.
   Lose your race number and then hassle the organisers 10 minutes before the start for a new one.
5. LISTEN TO MUSIC WHILST RUNNING.
   Make sure that you have your iPod/Walkman well and truly blasting in your ears thus enabling you to ignore all verbal instructions and run in front of an Ambulance on a call whilst endangering yourself and everyone around you.
6. NON-ARRIVAL OF RACE PACK.
   Wait until about 7 days before the race and then contact the Race Director by phone or email (email is better because he has about 100+ per day to deal with at this time) then in a pleading but panic-stricken voice tell him you have not received your race number etc (Now this is the killer – wait until he has apologized on behalf of the Royal Mail and has explained that they will reissue your number and timing chip on the morning) this is when you tell him that “oh by the way I have moved house since I filled in my form!” – Gets him every time!